Business Dos &Amp; Don’ts Funny Business Humour

Submitted by: Naz Daud

Whenever walking at your place of employment always carry a clipboard and walk fast. This will make you look extremely busy and your boss will not give you further tasks!

If you are going to the loo and like to read a newspaper whilst well you know what carry it in a folder marked “Urgent” and again walk briskly.

Have huge piles of documents on your desk and whenever the boss walks past wipe your brow and mutter under your breath as you rummage through the paperwork trying to find that important piece of work.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-XGerrwDC8[/youtube]

If somebody leaves a voicemail for you and it sounds urgent make sure you call them back when you know that they are at lunch and leave a voicemail in return. This means that you have fulfilled your duty in returning their call and the ball is back in their court.

Make sure your computer screen is facing away from everybody else’s this will give you plenty of time to catch up on your personal email, make arrangements for the weekend and still look busy

Always have the latest and most complicated piece of business software open and minimised so that if your boss happens to walk over to your desk you can maximise it and ask for help! The boss usually doesn’t have a clue and will quickly scurry away leaving you plenty of time to sort your next holiday.

Do you want a promotion? Find out what time the boss arrives for work. Make sure you beat him to it by a few minutes every day and leave a couple of minutes after him. Always look busy when he arrives and as he is leaving.

Find out what his hobbies are, his birthday and his favourite treats. By making him feel special you are more likely to be in his mind when he is handing out wage rises.

If you work for a large company make sure you take your holidays at the same time as your boss. This is also the right time to extend your weekends by calling in sick on either Friday or Monday!

The above applies just as well if your boss is female. Can you suggest any other business dos and don’ts?

About the Author: Naz Daud

Business Franchise OpportunityBusiness Directory & Business Franchises

Source:

isnare.com

Permanent Link:

isnare.com/?aid=177078&ca=Business

Portuguese Culture Ministry suspends opening of Afonso I’s tomb

Thursday, July 6, 2006

The Portuguese Ministry of Culture suspended today the opening of King Afonso Henriques‘ tomb. The opening of the tomb would allow investigators to reconstruct a biological profile of the first King of Portugal, who died 821 years ago.

This afternoon the Portuguese Institute of Architectural Patrimony (IPPAR) announced its decision to suspend the project for the reconstruction of the biological profile of Afonso I. For which the opening of the tomb at the Santa Cruz Monastery, in Coimbra, was scheduled for today at 5 p.m. local time (1600 Thursday, UTC).

The note released by the Institute said that after consulting the “respective internal process it was evident that the adequate and necessary procedures were not fulfilled” which include the “authorization of this institute and of the minister of Culture for the accomplishment of the related exhumation”.

When contacted by TSF news agency, the responsible of IPPAR Ilísio Summerville explained that they “had consulted the process and verified that neither the current direction of IPPAR, nor the previous one had given authorization for the act [of the opening of the tomb], because there was missing a series of authorizations, between them the authorization of the minister of Culture.”

The responsible clarified that the investigation will be authorized as soon that “all formalities are fulfilled”.

The original authorization to open the tomb consists of a letter sent by the regional director of IPPAR, José Maria Tadeu Henriques, on June 23, to Professor Eugénia Cunha, an specialist in Anthropology Biology of the Faculty of Sciences & Technology of the University of Coimbra and responsible for the investigation.

The team of investigators, lead by the anthropologist Eugénia Cunha, is composed of another two anthropologists of the University of Coimbra, Ana Carina Marques and Sónia Codinha, by the medic and anthropologist Miguel Botella (University of Granada), by the medic Bertrand Ludes and the geneticist Christine Kayser (University of Strasbourg), and by the historian José Mattoso (New University of Lisbon).

By analysing the bones and other remains, like hair and nails, of Portugal’s founder, the investigators would be able to determinate his stature, genetic profile, diet and any diseases that he might have had.

Categories Uncategorized

Virgin Media investors want to discuss company’s strategy

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Virgin Media announced weak results last week, in part due to competition from Sky. Virgin Media lost 47,000 customers from January to March 2007, while Sky gained 51,000 customers in the same time period.

Franklin Mutual Advisers, which has 9.4% of the Virgin Media shares (Sir Richard Branson owns 11%) wants to have a meeting with Virgin Media about its “strategic direction, corporate governance and management”. Franklin Mutual Advisers is known to take great interest in the companies in which it invests.

This has caused many of the other investors of Virgin Media to demanding meetings with the management of the company. The demands are due to confusion among shareholders at the direction in which the company is heading, The Guardian reports. After the attempt to buy ITV was stopped last year, the shareholders think that Virgin Media may lose its battle with Sky and TalkTalk.

Another issue causing concerns amongst investors is the £25.2 million pay cheques for the top seven executives of Virgin Media. Virgin Media reported a £15.3 million loss last year.

Categories Uncategorized

Teräsbetoni frontman J. Ahola on representing Finland at Eurovision 2008 & more

Sunday, April 13, 2008

This article is a featured article. It is considered one of the best works of the Wikinews community. See Wikinews:Featured articles for more information.

Teräsbetoni means “steel-reinforced concrete”, and is also the name of a Finnish heavy metal band formed in 2002. Their music, which centres on an honourable warrior lifestyle or on metal itself, quickly became popular in 2003 on the Internet, resulting in a petition by fans being sent to several record labels demanding a recording deal. In late 2004 the band signed to Warner Music Finland, and the following year debut single Taivas lyö tulta rose to number one in the Finnish charts, and debut album Metallitotuus hit number two and went platinum, and has now sold about 47,000 copies.

The band, who sing exclusively in Finnish, have just released their third album, Myrskyntuoja. The lead single on this album is Missä miehet ratsastaa, which Teräsbetoni decided to enter in the Finnish selections for the 2008 edition of the Eurovision Song Contest, where it was selected to go on to the semi-final in Belgrade, Serbia as Finland’s representative this year. Although Finland has seen limited success in the contest, their only victory was with a comparable group. In 2006 hard rock band Lordi – whose monster costumes and pyrotechnic displays are famed – achieved a record 292 points in the final with Hard Rock Hallelujah.

Teräsbetoni’s frontman, vocalist and bass guitarist Jarkko Ahola’s fame extends beyond the band he heads. He also features in Finnish symphonic power metal cover supergroup Northern Kings, alongside Marco Hietala of Nightwish and Tarot, Tony Kakko of Sonata Arctica and Juha-Pekka Leppäluoto of Charon.

Wikinews was able to conduct an exclusive interview with Jarkko Ahola to discuss these various achievements. This interview is now published below for the first time.

Contents

  • 1 Interview
    • 1.1 On the early days
    • 1.2 On Eurovision
    • 1.3 The new album
    • 1.4 Northern Kings
    • 1.5 The future and final words
  • 2 Related news
  • 3 Sources
Categories Uncategorized

Fake impotence drugs linked to low blood sugar outbreak

Thursday, February 12, 2009

An article in the February 12 issue of the New England Journal of Medicine reports on an unusual cause for an outbreak of low blood sugar among men in Singapore: illegal use of sexual performance enhancement drugs that were contaminated with a diabetes drug.

Between January and May 2008, 149 men and one woman between 19 and 97 (mean age 51) were admitted to five public hospitals for unexplained low blood sugar. Similar cases were reported in media reports from Hong Kong. Seven Singaporean patients remained in a coma because of prolonged sugar starvation of the brain, and four subsequently died. The diabetes drug glyburide was found in blood and/or urine samples in 85% of cases; 30% admitted having used illegal sexual performance enhancers.

The contaminated products were a counterfeit version of the drug Cialis (meant for the treatment of genuine erectile dysfunction), and three purported herbal preparation (the affected brands included Power 1 Walnut and Santi Bovine Penis Erecting Capsule). All four preparations additionally contained Viagra in varying concentrations. Two herbal products contained traces of the weight loss drug sibutramine, a compound related to amphetamines.

The drug packaging mentioned names of non-existent overseas production facilities, so the source of the contamination with the diabetes drug could not be established.

The authors underline the risks that is known to be associated with purchasing drugs from unreliable providers or from online resellers. The clandestine use of impotence drugs as sexual performance enhancers seems to have provided a good illustration of this problem. They further call for more efforts by national and international health and law enforcement agencies to curb the manufacturing, international transport and sales of untrustworthy medication.

Categories Uncategorized

2008 COMPUTEX Taipei: Three awards, One target

Monday, June 23, 2008

2008 COMPUTEX Taipei, the largest trade fair since its inception in 1982, featured several seminars and forums, expansions on show spaces to TWTC Nangang, great transformations for theme pavilions, and WiMAX Taipei Expo, mainly promoted by Taipei Computer Association (TCA). Besides of ICT industry, “design” progressively became the critical factor for the future of the other industries. To promote innovative “Made In Taiwan” products, pavilions from “Best Choice of COMPUTEX”, “Taiwan Excellence Awards”, and newly-set “Design and Innovation (d & i) Award of COMPUTEX”, demonstrated the power of Taiwan’s designs in 2008 COMPUTEX Taipei.

Categories Uncategorized

Bomb in Dagestan explodes Russian military truck

Friday, September 2, 2005

An explosion today in Makhachkala, Russia in the Russian region of Dagestan killed one and wounded five others, police say. The bomb detonated in a pile of garbage, where servicemen and a truck had been sent to search for explosives on a street near a military base. When the engineers got out of the truck to search, the bomb went off.

The Dagestani Ministry, reported by the Russian news agency ITAR-Tass, originally stated that the blast killed two servicemen and wounded three others. They later revised this to six servicemen wounded (as well as one civilian), but no fatalities. A police officer told ITAR-Tass news that a brigade had been on patrol when the explosion occurred.

According to RIA-Novosti and Interfax news, medics reported one death and six injuries. RIA-Novosti also reports that the bomb exploded near a trolley bus.

Police and ambulances were immediately brought to the area of the explosion, which was quickly sealed off by police.

The alleged planters of the bomb were followed by police, but escaped after firing at the officers.

This explosion is not surprising, as racial tensions in the Muslim majority region of Dagestan often lead to attacks on officials and police.

Categories Uncategorized

Chinese chef Peng Chang-kuei’s death announced

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Peng Chang-kuei, a Chinese-born chef credited with creating the internationally popular dish General Tso’s chicken, was yesterday announced to have died by his son.

Chuck Peng told The Associated Press his father died of pneumonia in Taipei, Taiwan on Wednesday. The chef fled China to Taiwan in 1949 and invented the dish shortly thereafter. In the 1970s Peng opened a New York restaurant, which he claimed was a regular haunt of Henry Kissinger. Peng credited Kissinger with the dish’s popularity.

Peng conceived the famed dish, which is unknown in China, as unfried. Garlic and soy sauce provided flavour, as did chillies. Today the chicken is served across the US as fried chicken in a sweet, sticky sauce. The chillies remain, with broccoli also appearing. Peng named it after Zuo Zongtang from his native Hunan Province; Zongtang assisted in suppressing the 19th-century Taiping Rebellion.

Peng said the meal was invented for a US admiral visiting Taiwan. Over three days, Peng was contracted to produce several banquets, with not one repeated dish. After exhausting traditional chicken dishes Peng said he created what became General Tso’s chicken as an experiment.

In later years he ran Peng’s, a chain of Taiwanese restaurants. General Tso’s chicken also remained popular across the US. His son claimed he remained working in the kitchen until a few months before his death, at 97. In a documentary two years ago, shown photos of General Tso’s chicken served in the US in modern times, he remarked “This is all crazy nonsense.”

Running away from his farming family in Changsha, Peng trained under Cao Jingchen. He fled communist rule that followed the 1930s Japanese invasion. He fathered seven children, six of whom remain alive, from three marriages. Chuck Peng described his father as “very good to other people, [but] very hard on his family.” Peng Jr. spoke of a “very demanding” man who “thought other people’s cooking was no good.”

Two years ago the Taipei City Government awarded Peng an Outstanding Citizen award. Peng, then 95 and unstable, collected the award in person and delivered a speech in Mandarin Chinese.

Categories Uncategorized

Gay couple elected prom king and queen in Maine’s Sanford High School

Friday, June 3, 2011

Although prom may have taken place over two weeks ago at Maine’s Sanford High School, the fact that students elected a gay couple as prom king and queen remains the talk of the local community.

During the May 14 event, 17-year-old Christian Nelsen was named prom queen, running as a write-in candidate. One of Nelsen’s friends, Holly Smith, spoke of the help they provided in getting him elected: “The day of prom, we went downstairs, and he was yelling ‘Vote for Christian Nelsen!’ And I was helping people spell his name, or telling them how to write it on the ballot”.

Anyone can win, and on that same notion any type of person can win.

Nelsen’s boyfriend, Caleb Jett, was elected prom king. “I kinda got voted in because he got queen, and it was like ‘Who do we vote for king?’ and it was like ‘Oh, well, his boyfriend, obviously, because that makes sense,'” he said. The two young men wore suits, shirts, and ties to the prom. When the results of the election were announced, they danced the king-queen dance together, Jett wearing his crown and Nelsen his tiara.

Maine is one of only two states in New England that have not recognized same-sex marriages. Though they are aware that not everyone supports them, the couple ran to combat high school stereotypes and to encourage more tolerance. Nelsen commented, “It doesn’t matter if it’s a guy or a girl who wins prom king or prom queen from now on. Anyone can win, and on that same notion any type of person can win. And I’m talking about the tolerance level of all people when I talk about that, so anyone who is bullied or even just under the radar can win this type of thing.”

Minister of a parish of the United Church of Christ Reverend Diane Wendorf supported the couple, citing her church’s values of tolerance and diversity. “I’m glad, too, that they were crowned king and queen, because there are all different kinds of people in this world.” Some Sanford residents a local news agency interviewed did not approve of the gay couple’s crowning, though none agreed to go on camera — out of concerns that their comments might offend someone.

The matter is expected to be brought up by interested citizens at an upcoming school committee meeting. Committee Chair Mark Lucier stated that the school is gathering information on the election, and that the committee may decide if it needs to address the future selection of prom kings and queens.

Categories Uncategorized